Mistakes


Her First Mistake

Lyle Lovett



The first time I heard this song I was driving in my car. Which is not surprising because in Southern California we spend a fair amount of time in the car listening to music, making phone calls, and trying not to text. I was channel surfing on the radio and not really paying much attention until I heard this verse:


It was then I knew I had made my first mistake

She did not even start to wait

And as she turned around to walk away

This is what she had to say


I wanted to know what she had to say and what his first mistake was. I don't know if those who marry on a whim are making a mistake, but I do know that mistakes at home can cause all sorts of fires. Life is full of opportunities to make mistakes. Some of which hurt us and some help us. I am going to tell you more about the mistakes Lyle made and the one she did, but first I want to write about all our mistakes.


We all make them all the time. Most of us don’t like it when we do. We would rather be “right” than “wrong.” We would rather we didn’t drop the dish on the kitchen floor, call someone by the wrong name or arrive late for an important meeting. Mistakes can be hurtful. At worst they can kill or injure you. They can harm your reputation, make others wary of you and cause you to want to pull the covers up and hide out till it is safe enough to come out.


Yet, there can be illuminating, life-enhancing and fulfilling moments when making a mistake changes your life for the better. Those kinds of mistakes people don’t mind so much. You turn down the wrong street and discover a great place you didn’t know existed. You give someone the wrong answer and they correct you and teach you something that opens up a new vista in your life.


The mistakes we make in our lives, as vast as they can be, are all in the service of each of us trying to get by and in doing so make our lives as good as they can be. Lyle sums it up this way:


So like the years and all the seasons pass

And like the sand runs through the hour glass

I just keep on running faster

Chasing the happily I am ever after


In the song Lyle makes some mistakes trying to make some headway with a woman. Anyone who has ever walked across a room and tried to strike up a conversation with someone knows this is an act of courage and often one of clumsiness. Few of us have ever been taught “How to Meet People.” We learned through observation and trial and error. Usually more error than we would like to admit. It can be emotionally challenging to initiate a conversation as the risk of rejection is high. Even the most successful among us don’t bat 1000.


I have learned it is better for me to risk the rejection of another than to pass on taking the chance. Sure, I don’t like being rejected, and sure it is upsetting. And sure sometimes I hold back and don’t reach out to people. But, having walked away from saying hello to someone that interested me too many times, I decided I would rather they reject me than I reject me. When I don’t try and don’t even give myself an opportunity I feel worse than when I try and fail.Therapists talk about turning a mis-take into a re-take. And often you do get second chances.Maybe not with that person you didn’t approach, but there will be another time and another place for you to take a chance with someone or something.


Since life is a series of learning situations it pays to remember the adage that if at first you don’t succeed try try again.Continued effort is a key to success. Which boils down to a lot of takes, mis-takes and re-takes.


Therapists talk about turning a mis-take into a re-take. And often you do get that second chance to put yourself out there and take a risk. Maybe not with that person you didn’t approach, but there will be another time and another place for you to take a chance with someone or something. Since life is a series of learning situations it pays to remember the adage that if at first you don’t succeed try try again. Continued effort is a key to success. Which boils down to a lot of takes, mis-takes and re-takes.


Lyle made three mistakes with this woman. She made one. If you want you can check out the song here (no video just him singing) or read below


"Her First Mistake"

Once upon a time ago Way up in the land of sleet and snow How this fairy tale would go I could not have known I had searched around this world so mean From Livingstone to Palestine Trying to pursue my dream Of love It was then I met this girl so fine She made me think so fast I left my thought behind And I tried to pass for a sophisticated Northern man I said why yes my dear I know exactly what you mean Because there's not so much I haven't done or seen And may I say your eyes are the loveliest Shade of jade I said come on baby Come on baby Come on baby It was then I knew I had made my first mistake She did not even start to wait And as she turned around to walk away This is what she had to say She told me man I come from way down South I've got a picket fence with a picket house And I don't need no fast talking Northern man Like you around I said well come on baby Come on baby Come on baby Honey I don't know what you just heard But Alabama is my favorite word And Birmingham Is a long way from here I could see the light began to shine She turned back around her eyes met mine And suddenly the whole world became A better place Even if it was only for an instant Because it was then I knew I had made my Second mistake She told me man that was a real good try But Alabama's not where I reside I come from where the river is wide And the crawfish hide I said well come on baby Come on baby Come on baby Honey I don't know what you just heard But Louisiana is my favorite word And New Orleans Is a long way from here She just looked at me and shook her head Your lines are pretty sad she said You are a lonely, weak, pathetic man If this is doing the best you can It was then I knew I had made my third mistake Yes three strikes right across the plate And as I hollered honey please wait She was gone I said well come on baby Come on baby Come on baby Honey I don't know what you just heard Bartender set 'em up are my favorite words Because the love I need Is a long way from here Oh the love I need Is a long way from here Yes well there I sat so all alone Like a king who sits upon his throne And whose kingdom may have just gone home With another kingdom So as you can imagine much to my surprise When the door was flung back open wide It was a miracle She walked inside And pulled her chair up next to me And that's when she knew She had made her First mistake Honey I don't know what you just heard But come on baby Are my favorite words And where we're going Is a long way from here And where we're going Is a long way from here So like I said before I could not have known How this fairy tale would finally go Still the only certain thing for sure Is what I do not know So like the years and all the seasons pass And like the sand runs through the hour glass I just keep on running faster Chasing the happily I am ever after I just keep on running faster Chasing the happily I am ever after


#CarolDweck #Nietzsche #howtomeetpeople #mistakes #mistake #mistake #retake #take #LyleLovett

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